Archive for March, 2010

How to change your habits and create new, healthy ones. Watch this video below from Eben Pagan.

For more information visit Eben’s site at http://wakeupproductivebl0g.com and watch his free preview videos.

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Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken is a must have book! The second half of the book is the most useful; it contains the practical actions and solutions.

This book helped me look at some misconception I have. What it really means to appreciate myself. Appreciating myself, honoring who I am, loving myself…means taking care of me FIRST?

Mike Robbins has some interesting ideas that really help me reframe my old ways of thinking. Many of you reading this might already got this cognition…And I might look foolish for even writing this…but I’m going to do so anyway, because it’s just so valuable…and for those of you who haven’t dawn on this, I hope you can benefit from it.

Here’s a list of some simple examples of self-appreciation:

  • Celebrating our success
  • Speaking about ourselves in a positive way
  • Accepting compliments with gratitude and ease
  • Forgiving ourselves and our mistakes

(From page 207, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken)

This is honoring ourselves and genuinely showing ourselves that we love “me” not in a narcissistic way but appreciating our own greatness and all that we are. We are making peace with ourselves. Then we can really start to live our truths…And be authentic -just the way we are. Mike put it so eloquently, “The ultimate goal of being ourselves in an authentic way is to LOVE OURSELVES completely. If we truly love ourselves, most of what we worry about and even much of what we strive for in life becomes meaningless.” (p. 214)

It hit me, “What… I’ve been neglecting myself?”

You know that part that we all have…some people more than others. And I am just one of those. I feel like I have to take care of everyone’s needs before handling what’s on my list. I would do this unconsciously most of the time. Guess I picked it up from my mother, she was the same way. Taking care of everyone, doing everything for them, and end up exhausted and burned out.

Like most of you out there, I thought I was “taking care of myself”…but reality showed me a different story.

It was especially apparent to me when my sister recently visited me here in the Philippines. She, being my younger sibling, I felt obligated that I must take 100% responsibility and “take care” of her. So I got my place cleaned, planned everything, took the lead, and even make decisions for her. I practically babysitted her. The thing is she doesn’t even need it…she’s 26 and a young woman capable of making her own decisions and leading her own life. But it was my insane mental chatter that insisted, “I must watch and take care of her because she is my baby sister and this is a foreign country. She doesn’t know all the dangers so I must be her second pair of eyes.”

Yes, I’ve exhausted myself and started resenting her…and worse started thinking less of her…And even weaken my immune system. It was horrible. I even felt a separation in our relationship. My fault entirely. Luckily, we chatted and repair the unsaid feelings we kept hidden inside…

The ugly truth is…a majority of us women tend to insist doing almost everything ourselves, assuming other’s responsibilities, and taking care of them…(doing things that others could have done themselves), cleaning the house, cooking the food, doing other’s laundry, running the errands without ASKING for help…And do things we don’t even feel like just so we feel like we’ve helped and done our “women caring duties”. Then afterward, we might end up resenting those we helped…even beating ourselves up…Like we gave so much and nobody knows just how much we’ve did for them…And even hating ourselves that we didn’t HAVE time for ourselves. And of course…exhausted, tired, and burn out! It’s insane…

Yes, it’s that serious to me. Sometimes, I’m not even feeling that optimal and know I’m going to come down with something with my possibly weaken immune system, but I go out anyway just to hang out –when I should be resting in bed to get well…And I never knew, just how BAD I treated myself.

Mike really helped me point out this non-functioning part of me. Loving myself means truly taking care of me before trying to help others out. Taking care of my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs…And then from there, it’ll overflow to others.

I almost wanted to hit myself for not realizing it sooner. That self-love and appreciation means…To honor our body, mind, emotion, and spirit.

Thanks Mike!

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I was browsing through the book store and came across Mike Robbins book, Be Yourself: Everyone Else is Already Taken. I was searching for more books to help me tap into that genuine part of myself. That place where I’m at peace and accepting…and not feeling so lost and fake!

When I saw this book I thought, “Catchy title, but probably not worth my time reading.” It looked like it was one of those “The Secret” wannabe type books. I’m tired of all that. But it was the ONLY book that stood out. So I was compelled to read it (at least to see if there are any practical answers in it).

The first half of the book goes into how we learn self-limiting mindsets. These mindsets keep us from being honest with ourselves because they trap us into behaving certain ways to gain approval from others and get what we want. Yes, these mindsets might have worked in the past and even a few times now, but as we go through our day to day life–we lose ourselves more and more because we’re living in a way that works for others and NOT necessarily for ourselves.

We were told to color inside the box, never question authority, and be good little boys and girls who follows the proper social etiquette. When we’ve conditioned ourselves to not cry as a children, we’ve simply learned not to voice our feelings. Letting such emotions out is unacceptable and is bad–we can’t really be ourselves. Most of us then end up wearing masks and hold our hearts behind iron bars. Our truths hidden away from the world.

The good news is the rest of the book is a guide to journeying back to being ourselves again. Again, not everything is for everyone. And this book is especially NOT for you if you don’t want to take an honest look at yourself. Or think if you just simply read this book and not do any work you’ll transform effortlessly into living your truth. The book is going to ask you to look at things you may not want to face. So brace yourself if you are ready to embark on this journey within.

Before we go on, let’s make sure we’re on the same page when we say “being authentic”. I love how Mike Robbins says, being authentic doesn’t mean we have to voice every opinion in our mind. Some people think it means you have to, “Get in people’s faces, tell them how [you] think and feel, and let them know what’s on [your] mind no matter what.” (p.6)

Mike goes on to clarify, “Authenticity is a process. It’s something that continues to evolve throughout our entire lives. We can’t become “authentic” in the same way we can earn a degree or accomplish a financial goal. Authenticity–like love, health, courage, awareness, patience, and more–is an ideal we aspire to and is something we must practice in the moment-by-moment, day-by-day experiences of life. Our ability to be real can and will deepen as we move through our journey of life, if we’re conscious about it. Becoming more of who we really are is a process that never ends…The same could be said about authenticity. No book, workshop, teacher, or anything else can make you “authentic” in a quick and easy way. Authenticity has to come from deep within you.” (p.4)

“Authenticity is unique and personal for each of us. And what it means for us to be “authentic” changes throughout our lives as we grow and evolve. And to truly bring out our real authenticity, we would have to take a hard honest look at ourselves, all of it, speak our truth, and live our lives in a way that is true for us.” (p.5)

“Fundamentally, authenticity is about you being you–fully. It’s about being yourself–understanding, owning, acknowledging, appreciating, and expressing all of who you are–both the light and the dark…It involves being totally honest about our selves and with others. When we’re authentic, we’re vulnerable, aware, open, curious, and truthful above all else. We’re in touch with our thoughts and our feelings, our doubts and our fears, our dreams and our passions, and so much more. When we’re authentic, we’re also able to own up to it when we’re being phony.” (p.6)

In this book, Mike shares his personal journey to being real with himself: his fears, doubts, frustrations, and challenges. He helps us understand and differentiate the misconception of what authenticity is and why the journey is worth taking. Most importantly, he explains why we are scared to come out of our shells and be real with ourselves and others. Mike helps guide us to journey within and dig out the genuine self we have long buried since we entered this world.

Mike’s book has road maps, suggestions, and routes guiding us towards finding ourselves again. He walks us through some hidden obstacles in our lives that throw us off unknowingly. We face things we may not want to see. We’re challenged to break through barriers we jailed ourselves in (that bar us from being our genuine self). We’re shown how to regain our life back… Find confidence in ourselves again… Free us from the things holding us back…By living with integrity.

Are you ready for the journey within?

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