Mon 31 May 2010
She’s Out Of My League – Finding Your Total 10!
Posted by Faey under Faey's Reviews, Healthy Relationships, Inspirational Quotes
[2] Comments
One scene in “She’s Out Of My League” really stands out… After years of heart ache, Stainer dashes off to confront Tina Jordan at the hot dog stand and ask why she dumped him. In his mind he was a 6. She was a 10. Stainer wanted her to admit he wasn’t good enough and that’s why she dumped him.
Tina Jordan responded, “You’re plenty good enough for me…you were just never good enough for YOU.”
Doesn’t that just pinch you in some way?
The movie kept reminding me of Alex Allman’s profound speech given at the Man Transformation seminar. In it, he talks about finding your Total 10. Total 10 as Alex defines it, is someone who just makes you feel awesome. When you’re with your Total 10 you feel like letting the best version of yourself come out and play.
Hopefully, you’re your partner’s Total 10 as well.
In the movie, Kirk (Jay Baruchel) is an average guy who meets the “perfect” woman Molly (Alice Eve), his Total 10. She’s into him. He’s into her. So what’s the problem? His total lack of confidence.
Kirk “occurs” to himself as not being good enough.
Let me explain what I mean by “occurs”. I learned it’s used in this way from Dave Logan and Steve Zaffron, the authors of “3 Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life“. Occurs simply means how you perceive yourself. For example, if you’re nice and friendly in social situations while in the back of your mind you feel insecure and awkward, then how you occur to yourself is as someone who is insecure and awkward around people but can mask it really well. Others may think you’re comfortable and easy to be around. Never the less, you occur to yourself as an awkward person.
Kirk occurred to himself as not being good enough which led to the belief Molly was out of his league. “How can someone like her possibly fall for me?”
It’s amazing how the way we occur to ourselves truly affects our life. Here’s a wonderful, smart, funny, sexy woman–who is interested in him and he just couldn’t see past the way he occurred to himself. Yes, he was kind of a pushover, but the fact was she found him attractive because he was her total 10 in the making.
Many of these beliefs are reinforced by the people we socialized with. As in Kirk’s case, when his friends started to measure his attractiveness to women…their ideas got lodge into his beliefs. He started seeing himself as a “5″ and somewhat of a loser and not deserving the girl or much of anything for that matter.
It shows just how crucial your social groups are and how much they can affect you.
[Spoiler Alert]
Good news is at the end he finally shifted his view of himself and started to think how much he could be…and because of that and his willingness to take action he was able to break free from how he “occur” to himself…and ESCAPE a life of misery where he only accept what others give him.
Because he realized he wanted something different and tired of this rut. He was able to open up the possibility of something much more. He started to believe he could be more…that he could BE a Total 10 for himself.
I just love the ending as they hop into the plane together and flies off. It shows he was willing to become the best version of himself. By learning to become a pilot he finally grabbed the bull by the horn and achieved his dream. This very act shows there’s hope for their relationship. They were both growing and supportive of each other’s dreams in the relationship.
Overall, a very entertaining and a beautiful movie!
… And be sure to come back next week as I share with you one of my favorite technique from some truly great minds on “How to REWRITE Your Future!” Cut off that cord connection to your fixed belief or habit that’s actually limiting your growth and progress to who you want to become.



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